來源:中考網(wǎng)整合 作者:中考網(wǎng)編輯 2016-04-05 15:02:01
張老師點評:這篇文章其實是相當有文采的。開篇第一句話和最后一句話都正確使用了定語從句,這已經(jīng)足以為其爭取到1分的文采分了。整篇文章除了第一句有點不符合常理(planet不能用full of love,應(yīng)該用world)和第6句help后面不應(yīng)該用to之外,其他句子都沒有語病,扣1分的語言分也可以理解。但是本文最大的敗筆就在于遺漏了一個要點!題目要求對自己周圍的love給出1-2個例子,但是本文中沒有任何例子,于是被扣了2分的內(nèi)容分,非常可惜。正所謂“要點不全就是錯,妙筆生花又如何?”
第二篇
Love never leaves me. My parents, teachers, classmates and so on give love to me. My mother always come to my room and close the windows when I fall asleep on the cold night. My classmates and teachers always give me a hand when I have something difficult to do. I feel very warm and happy when I get love from all these people around me. I will give my father a cup of tea when he finish all the works. I will help my mother to do some housework. Love around me all the time.
【實際得分情況:7+5+0=12】
張老師點評:要點一個不缺,7分到手。全文除了反復(fù)使用when引導(dǎo)的時間狀語從句之外,無任何復(fù)雜句型,因此文采分為0并不冤枉。我要說的是被扣掉得2分語言分,不知道大家有沒有看出來扣在哪里?先給大家5分鐘時間看看吧。
-------5分鐘后---------
其實這篇文章扣語言分的主要是2點:
1.三單。除了第一句之外的2處三單都用錯了(找到了嗎?)。雖然原則上講每個語法點錯只扣0.5,且重復(fù)不計,但是像三單這么基礎(chǔ)的語法點,扣1分也不為過。
2.最后一句缺系動詞。也許這位同學(xué)是想在最后一句用一個短句子作為有力的結(jié)尾,可惜偷雞不成蝕把米,句子不是想短就能短的。
當然,文中還有on the cold night、when I fall a sleep、finish all the works等小一點的語法錯誤,但是僅僅是前面2個大的語法錯誤,就足以顯示這位同學(xué)的功底了。正所謂“要點當然要齊全,語法豈止為單選?”
第三篇:
There is much love around me. Especially my parents, teachers, friends even some strangers. The love needs our heart to feel. Parents’ love is like river, silent and warm. When I’m in trouble, they encourage me in silent words. Friends' love is like fire, full of energy. It makes me more confident. And I also show my love in action to care others. Love is teaching me to love.
【實際得分:7+5+2=14】
張老師點評:這是一篇讓人愛恨交織的文章。按照08年以前的評分標準,原則上講,內(nèi)容和語言在12分及其以下者,是不能給2分的文采分的。但是這篇文章的幾個句子,著實讓人覺得愛不釋手。例如Parents’ love is like river, silent and warm. 再例如 Love is teaching me to love. 這樣的句子雖然并不復(fù)雜,但是讀起來卻像詩句一樣。我想這也是為什么判卷的老師在文章中有明顯錯誤的情況下(找到錯誤在什么地方了嗎?),還給出2分的文采分。所以我想告訴同學(xué)們的是,文采分并不是神話,只要有意識地去準備一些結(jié)構(gòu),并在文章中合理使用,文采分是可以有計劃地去獲取的。正所謂:“微瑕不掩白璧,有心可算無心。”孩子們,加油!
第四篇:
There is some love around me. Among all the people, I think my parents love me best. I study so hard that I don't go to bed until mid-night. However, my parents will always turn off their light after I do. While I am writing this passage, my parents are standing at the school gate. I decide to buy some flowers for them to show my love this afternoon.
【實際得分:6+6+1=13】
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