來(lái)源:中考網(wǎng)整合 作者:中考網(wǎng)編輯 2016-04-05 15:02:01
張老師點(diǎn)評(píng):這篇文章其實(shí)是相當(dāng)有文采的。開篇第一句話和最后一句話都正確使用了定語(yǔ)從句,這已經(jīng)足以為其爭(zhēng)取到1分的文采分了。整篇文章除了第一句有點(diǎn)不符合常理(planet不能用full of love,應(yīng)該用world)和第6句help后面不應(yīng)該用to之外,其他句子都沒有語(yǔ)病,扣1分的語(yǔ)言分也可以理解。但是本文最大的敗筆就在于遺漏了一個(gè)要點(diǎn)!題目要求對(duì)自己周圍的love給出1-2個(gè)例子,但是本文中沒有任何例子,于是被扣了2分的內(nèi)容分,非?上。正所謂“要點(diǎn)不全就是錯(cuò),妙筆生花又如何?”
第二篇
Love never leaves me. My parents, teachers, classmates and so on give love to me. My mother always come to my room and close the windows when I fall asleep on the cold night. My classmates and teachers always give me a hand when I have something difficult to do. I feel very warm and happy when I get love from all these people around me. I will give my father a cup of tea when he finish all the works. I will help my mother to do some housework. Love around me all the time.
【實(shí)際得分情況:7+5+0=12】
張老師點(diǎn)評(píng):要點(diǎn)一個(gè)不缺,7分到手。全文除了反復(fù)使用when引導(dǎo)的時(shí)間狀語(yǔ)從句之外,無(wú)任何復(fù)雜句型,因此文采分為0并不冤枉。我要說(shuō)的是被扣掉得2分語(yǔ)言分,不知道大家有沒有看出來(lái)扣在哪里?先給大家5分鐘時(shí)間看看吧。
-------5分鐘后---------
其實(shí)這篇文章扣語(yǔ)言分的主要是2點(diǎn):
1.三單。除了第一句之外的2處三單都用錯(cuò)了(找到了嗎?)。雖然原則上講每個(gè)語(yǔ)法點(diǎn)錯(cuò)只扣0.5,且重復(fù)不計(jì),但是像三單這么基礎(chǔ)的語(yǔ)法點(diǎn),扣1分也不為過(guò)。
2.最后一句缺系動(dòng)詞。也許這位同學(xué)是想在最后一句用一個(gè)短句子作為有力的結(jié)尾,可惜偷雞不成蝕把米,句子不是想短就能短的。
當(dāng)然,文中還有on the cold night、when I fall a sleep、finish all the works等小一點(diǎn)的語(yǔ)法錯(cuò)誤,但是僅僅是前面2個(gè)大的語(yǔ)法錯(cuò)誤,就足以顯示這位同學(xué)的功底了。正所謂“要點(diǎn)當(dāng)然要齊全,語(yǔ)法豈止為單選?”
第三篇:
There is much love around me. Especially my parents, teachers, friends even some strangers. The love needs our heart to feel. Parents’ love is like river, silent and warm. When I’m in trouble, they encourage me in silent words. Friends' love is like fire, full of energy. It makes me more confident. And I also show my love in action to care others. Love is teaching me to love.
【實(shí)際得分:7+5+2=14】
張老師點(diǎn)評(píng):這是一篇讓人愛恨交織的文章。按照08年以前的評(píng)分標(biāo)準(zhǔn),原則上講,內(nèi)容和語(yǔ)言在12分及其以下者,是不能給2分的文采分的。但是這篇文章的幾個(gè)句子,著實(shí)讓人覺得愛不釋手。例如Parents’ love is like river, silent and warm. 再例如 Love is teaching me to love. 這樣的句子雖然并不復(fù)雜,但是讀起來(lái)卻像詩(shī)句一樣。我想這也是為什么判卷的老師在文章中有明顯錯(cuò)誤的情況下(找到錯(cuò)誤在什么地方了嗎?),還給出2分的文采分。所以我想告訴同學(xué)們的是,文采分并不是神話,只要有意識(shí)地去準(zhǔn)備一些結(jié)構(gòu),并在文章中合理使用,文采分是可以有計(jì)劃地去獲取的。正所謂:“微瑕不掩白璧,有心可算無(wú)心。”孩子們,加油!
第四篇:
There is some love around me. Among all the people, I think my parents love me best. I study so hard that I don't go to bed until mid-night. However, my parents will always turn off their light after I do. While I am writing this passage, my parents are standing at the school gate. I decide to buy some flowers for them to show my love this afternoon.
【實(shí)際得分:6+6+1=13】
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